Yearning for a -Free Life

There has been, naturally, discussion here and there of people not being ready to end their Christmas vacations. If you have already ended your Christmas vacation and wish you were still on it, I'm sorry to be admitting that we've had two weeks.

But it doesn't feel like enough.

I could really use another week. Or two. Or three. And I am looking inward to figure out why.

The only answer at the moment is that there is some sort of disconnect between how I am living my life and what I really want. What the innermost part of me says is how I was made to live. But what is it that I really want? Well, watching Pride and Prejudice recently, the version with Keira Knightley, I found myself going, "Yes, that is the life I would like." Not just like, but would thoroughly enjoy and love, I think. While they only show a bit of the involvement the family had in the goings-on of the household, it was all so much calmer and less rushed. Sure, there's laundry and some tending of the animals and some cooking. But other things, too. Go for walks. Hang out under trees with books. Travel by carriage--and not be in such a rush and it's not even that big of a deal if your carriage breaks down and affects your timing. Attend parties. Live fairly simply--yet still have enough to have hired staff. It was, as at least one site has described general life in the early 1800s, a leisurely life. Even for those who worked in typical lower and middle class settings.

from http://janitesonthejames.blogspot.ca/2011/08/trees-in-jane-austens-landscape.html

As this Christmas season comes to an end (it's the 10th day of Christmas, by the way), I find myself really longing for that kind of a -free life: constant-rushing-free; constant-outside-demands-free; too-much-excess-free. I'm not sure at the moment what the first step to take is for that--to attain a leisurely sort of life that doesn't slip into just plain laziness--but the desire is there.

What about you? Do you have similar thoughts about your own life? Things are too fast-paced? Too full of outside demands and even too much stuff? Will you join me this year in reclaiming the simpler, -free life that your inner self is asking for?

I have joined Young Living Essential Oils!

I first learned about essential oils, and Young Living Essential Oils, years and years ago. I'm not sure if my son was even born yet--he's 13. But after learning about them, I got busy with other stuff and haven't paid too much attention to them. I still have a bottle of YL lavender that gets used periodically and some samples that I use now and then. Yes, they are still good after all this time.

My mother-in-law recently signed up with them due to friends or acquaintances or something of hers. She specifically wanted to try out the NingXia Red drink for a while to see if it made a difference in her health or overall well-being and being signed up means she gets a discount. She only just got the shipment in, so I can't report on that at all, but she renewed my interest in using essential oils and seeing all the things available with Young Living now, I decided to sign up today. (I also got to experience the Home Diffuser she got and I really liked it!) Will I do the business much? Not sure. Main reason I signed up was because it was cheaper to purchase what I wanted that way! lol. (Main drawback as a Canadian: there are all kinds of YL products that we can't get here! :( ) That said, if you have questions about YL, let me know! I'm definitely interested in learning all I can and answering people's questions or supporting them as their sponsor.

I also decided to check today into the use of essential oils a bit and starting making use of what I have here. I can't believe I didn't think to use the lavender oil last week when I burned myself. I was cooking chicken in a bit of oil, but when I tried to slide the chicken into the pan, it fell in and the hot oil splashed me.

Can you see the mark? I know, sucky photo. We're getting a new camera soon! Woot!

I did what they say to not do and used ice for quite sometime once the pain had kicked in. (Why? Because I used ice years ago on a blistering burn, rubbed it for probably a good 20-30 minutes because it kept hurting like the dickens when I would stop and I couldn't have water running for 30 minutes and the next morning, there was only a discoloration in the skin: no pain, no blistering. I post this disclaimer now: I am not a health professional and am not liable for anything you do because I've shared it works for me!) Then I had to keep it covered a couple of days. It would have likely healed much faster had I used the lavender oil. I put some on today, just to see if it will help with the healing of the discoloured skin, but also thought to use some of the peppermint oil on certain spots to help with sinus pain I've been having. I find peppermint oil, or at least Young Living's peppermint oil, works wonderfully for headaches/sinus pain and today was no exception. Put a tiny amount on some sinus pressure points on my face and woo-wee, did it get those areas tingling!

In wanting a -free life, that includes being free from all kinds of chemicals. Essential oils aren't chemicals. Well, from a chemistry point of view, sure, but they aren't what we mean by "chemicals" in everyday language. So, in addition to dairy-free and other -free things on here, you can now expect to see me sharing information about using essential oils in our everyday lives. :)

EDIT: I suppose I should give you my Young Living number in case you would like to order or sign up! 1772120.

100% Responsibility = Freedom

I started listening to "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield yesterday. (The link will take you to the book. The audiobook is here.) Other than finding it interesting that my almost 12yo son and his 12yo cousin ended up sitting down at the table where I was stamping and listening to the audiobook--I think they were taken by what Jack had to say--there is a great deal to think about in the book. I almost feel like I have to listen to it again, chew around the ideas and digest to really have things sink in properly.

I made it through the first five principles, but my mind is still stuck on the first one:

Take 100% responsibility for your life.

This can seem shocking at first. 100% responsibility? "Surely this person and that thing and this event are part of the problem?" Jack really got into how we are responsible for so much: We don't speak up when it would be good to do so. We keep people in our lives we maybe shouldn't. We eat that cookie. ("But they're so yummy!" part of my brain screams out.)

I was really mulling this whole idea over early morning, thinking that it was a very heavy thing to do, to take full responsibility for our lives. I am responsible for the disorder in my house. I am responsible for my allergic reactions (to a certain degree--I am not responsible for the genes that created the allergies, but I am responsible for the foods I eat that cause me to be more reactive, I am responsible for keeping the cat--but that's okay, he's too wonderful to let go...). I am responsible for my finances. I am responsible for having had that messed up friendship. I am responsible for... Different things came to mind and I simply took responsibility in my mind for them.

And you know what? It was absolutely FREEING.

It seems contradictory, doesn't it? Responsibility tends to mean that we have to take care of more things. And in a way, I do: I have to take care to eat better, I have to take care to put the allergy stuff on the cat, I have to take care to figure out a budget and clean up the den... But the flip side of that coin is that it means I can do something about all of it. I'm not stuck. I'm not a victim. I have freedom from these outside things "doing" anything to me. All these things that weigh down my life are things I am responsible for allowing to be there and I can therefore choose to act differently. Not that I ever thought heavily about it all, other than a vague acknowledgement of certain things. I know the basement's a mess, for example, but it's easily ignored. *grin* Taking 100% responsibility for its current state, not blaming the kids (after all, who let the kids?), knowing I can do something about it, is freeing. Yes, I've got some work ahead of me to fix all the little things I don't like that I have allowed, but that's okay. I feel freer. :)

How about you? What is your reaction to the idea of taking 100% responsibility for your life?

Changing Focus

My mind has been thinking a lot lately. Not that it doesn't usually ;), but it's been thinking along the lines of how do I change to accomplish what I want to accomplish?

I will not have the -Free Life I long for if I keep doing the same things I'm already doing. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." Change has to happen. But it's not going to just happen on its own. I have to change myself. I have to change the parts of me that block me into parts that support me. And maybe add in some new things.

Change can be hard. It requires we get out of our comfort zone and sometimes by a lot. Being out of our comfort zone can feel threatening, scary, nerve-racking and even wrong. We have a mistaken belief that everything feels right when it is right, but that's not always true. Sometimes all that's wrong is that we're just not used to it and we need to grow into it.

There's a lot of talk out there that says that everything we do should feel right. Which feeling though? Some feelings are really instinct talking, or divine inspiration. Absolutely, if that side isn't "feeling it", we should listen. But others are just emotional issues--or even physical issues, like in the case of an alcoholic.  Addicts don't feel right when they're not succumbing to their addiction, so does that mean they should stay addicted? A ridiculous thought! Clearly feeling isn't all what it's about. Some feelings are wisdom and others are just our emotions talking. And it's not always easy to tell the difference.

My point with all of this is that I feel the need to change. I'm tired of not getting closer to my goals. I learn all about things but can't seem to get myself to take action on them. There are all kinds of plans and no action. The only way I will get to action is if I change at least a bit. The saying "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" doesn't actually mean that if you plan it will all just work out. Action needs to be taken, too.

One thing I've realized is that part of my main motivator in changing my diet to a -Free diet has been my weight. My weight is still considered "normal", so it's not really a serious issue, just one of those things I'd like to improve upon. It's been clear in my mind that the water retention and likely fat gain over the past 10 years has been the result of lifestyle, mostly what I eat. They say that in your 30s, your metabolism changes and that's why weight gets put on. But what if part of it is that your body just can't handle the cr*p anymore? I've seen this slow weight gain as a message to detox my diet. Not just do one of those detox weeks or whatever, but really remove the cr*p. Weight is not my only issue: sinus problems, sinus headaches, frequent colds/flu, tiredness, skin issues (acne, rashes, dry skin...), my complexion is no longer bright and vital looking, increased environmental allergies and food sensitivities... Good grief, with this list, my weight should hold no importance! And I know it's not about the weight. Losing 10-15 lbs is not going to make my health any better unless the 10-15 lbs are the result of my health getting better. I know that as I take charge of what I put in my body and aim to be healthy with all the other current issues, the weight will take care of itself.

And yet, what do I do? I check the scale. I don't check to see how long I've had a headache--or when I can last remember not having a bit of a dull ache. I don't check to see if I've got increased or decreased skin issues. I don't check to see how healthy my diet was yesterday. I imagine how I will look when I've lost the weight--because that's what things like The Secret say to do, right?--but don't really imagine how it would feel to be fully healthy. (Do I even know?)

So, I'm changing myself. I'm changing my thoughts and focus. My focus is on being healthy. I know that to do this, I need to pay more attention to really fuelling my body with healthy foods. (And really, let's be honest, if it's not healthy food, is it really food?) I started today at lunch. "What can I eat that will be loving toward my body and help it be healthy?" was my focus rather than simply, "What is there to eat?" or "What should I eat?" I came up with this:

Essentially, a salad (without dressing) in a pita, like buying a wrap from... hm... can't remember the name of that outlet at the food courts. Yes, it's a white pita and not whole wheat. I spent 5-10 minutes at the store trying to find one that did not say, "May contain milk ingredients." (I do wonder how much of my water retention is the result of all these "may contain milk" products. I have gained in the past 3-5 lbs of water weight overnight simply by having milk products, and have equally lost 3-5 lbs over the course of a couple of days when I was careful to cut all milk and any chance of milk. And now I wonder just what is in that pita--is it healthy? Does it have nasty chemicals? I was so focused on it not containing milk that I didn't think about the rest. And obviously wasn't thinking in any way about wheat-free. ;) ) It was vegan until I decided to put a bit of mayonnaise on the one pita flap. I didn't fill it enough, so I was hungry afterwards and steamed myself some cauliflower. Yes, I've had some junk over the course of the day (and paid attention to the headache after the cookie), but I do believe in the mantra, "Progress, not perfection". And more than anything, I can truly feel my focus changing to "What can I do to support my body being healthy?"

This change in focus is going to force me to change in other ways. Like (at least sometimes) not eating some unhealthy thing that I'm craving. Like taking the time to prepare that orange or bowl of grapes or whatever. And despite my talk above about not necessarily trusting when it "feels right", this change in focus and the changes it will lead to does feel right. Gut feeling right. It's not going to be easy, I don't think. Memories of my first wheat-free day from a while back come to mind on how difficult it might end up becoming. But...

It'll be worth it.